Mr. & Mrs. Phillips
You’re the best, man. Here's to being your best man.
My co-best man speech for Chris and Amanda.
College roommates are the ultimate roll of the dice. You have no control over who it is, you’re stuck with them for a full year, and all you can do is hope they’re normal.
Imagine you find out about your new roommate, go on Facebook to find them, and start messaging them. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay: they played sports, went to high school in Massachusetts — they’re a local guy. Seems chill. Great. Awesome.
Then it starts getting a little closer to move in day and you start coordinating what to bring. You suggest bringing your TV. They respond that they're going to be focused on school so maybe we don't bring that.
Okay. Well it is the honors college, and hey, guess that's better than the alternative?
But they end up responding a few hours later saying you know what, bring it, that sounds great. Cool, they changed their mind — good stuff.
Then move in day comes. Lots of emotions. Your family is excited for you. You head to Boston to move in. Turns out your roommate has already moved in and is out and about. He got the better bed. Ah — oh well.
As you’re unpacking you see this massive poster above his bed. Now, to be clear, this is a very common in college! But then you realize it's a photo of your roommate. Your mom then asks: is that him?
To which you have to sheepishly say: “uhhh. Yeah..? I think so.”
Now fortunately for Chris, there are 3 good things about this story: 1) I have to admit, the photo was pretty cool, 2) the poster ended up falling at some point in the next few weeks and was never hung up again, and 3) Chris didn’t hang up a poster of himself.
I did! The TV, the poster, that was all me.
First Impressions
I’ve been told that first impressions are important. It’s hard to undo them. Especially like that! But fortunately for me, Chris is Chris, and he let me redeem myself. We quickly became quite close.
I mention all of this because I’ve known Chris and Amanda for almost 10 years now, and I thought today would be a fun way to recant some of the first impressions I had when I met them. So let’s start with my roommate.
Chris comes across as fiercely intelligent, but in a casual, laid back kind of way. He would always have this wonderful level of nonchalance, often because he had already finished the assignment or had done so well on it.
But you can’t confuse this with a lack of preparedness. Chris plans for everything and does whatever it takes to pull off his dreams and goals. One favorite example: during COVID, Chris scheduled his final CFA exam in Omaha, Nebraska, which he calculated had the lowest chance of getting cancelled.
And I was hoping to hear that laugh, because I’m going to talk about it now.
Chris has an amazing smile and a laugh that bounces off the walls. Sometimes you’ll hear it if you shank a golf ball into the woods, or get the golf cart stuck on the green. Or if you take the bachelor party to the wrong bar. But he’ll also forgive you if you do all that. And he’s the type of friend that drops everything to help you when you need it, as he’s done for me many times. More than I can count.
He has a deep reservoir of love that he shares, especially with Amanda.
Amanda — you meet her and she’s just radiant: she’s the person who will be there for you whenever you need her. She will support you, listen to you, laugh with you, and make sure you feel loved and seen. These are some of the many reasons why she’s such an amazing teacher. All of this just comes so naturally to her. She has a true gift.
She’ll also encourage you to put on sunscreen after playing corn hole for a few hours on the beach. And when you tell her you’re fine without it, she will nod okay and let you live with your consequences. When you look like a lobster the next day, she’ll help you out, and will never tell you she told you so.
The truth is, people are always excited to be around Amanda. She finds ways to make everyone around her happier. That’s why everyone lights up when they see her. She brightens up every room she walks in.
Now I have much more I want to say about these two, but I thought I’d end with one more story.
Pure Love
Chris and Amanda met some of my friends at a party I organized in NYC last year, and a bunch of them asked Chris how much I’ve changed since college.
He gave a really profound answer. He simply said: Grant’s the same, just different circumstances.
That really struck me, because everyone, including frankly me, would’ve told you I changed a lot.
But Chris always knew who I was, at times much more than I did. Yes, I was that guy who brought a poster of himself to college, but he also saw the rest of me, and understood what I could be and believed I would become that.
It’s hard for me to come up with a better description for what a best friend is. They know you perfectly well, and love you unequivocally.
That’s the love Chris gives all of his friends, and it’s the same love that he’s shared with Amanda all these years.
I’m not sure how Chris and I ended up as roommates, but I do know that my life has been far better off because of it. And it’s been special to watch the two of them grow even closer together. It’s made me a much better person.
Not many people can do long distance all of college, and then juggle COVID on top of that. But Chris and Amanda made it look effortless.
That’s the word I want to focus on. There’s a deep devotion to their love, which takes a lot of energy. But they make it seem so easy.
Love like this is the ultimate goal. It’s rare, it’s beautiful, and it’s something you can’t take for granted.
If you ever spent time with Chris and Amanda you knew this day was coming. It wasn’t a question of if, it was a question of when.
We’re all so excited that today’s finally here and that we get to celebrate with you.
So on behalf of all of us, I want to congratulate you two, and also thank you for showing us what true friendship and partnership look like.
You guys embody the purest form of love – here’s to a lifetime of even more love, health, travels, and even more memories together.
I love you guys, and I can’t wait to watch you start this new journey together.
Congratulations, you two. Love you so much.
GG
